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Thursday, 15 March 2012

image for Roberto di Matteo revels in 'incredible' Chelsea win v Napoli
"Penalties you say? Oh go on then"

Chelsea interim manager, peanut headed Roberto Di Matteo praised his "incredible pensioners" after they beat Napoli 4-1 to reach the last eight of the Champions League.

Trailing 3-1 from the first leg in Naples, the senior citizens battled back to lead 3-1 after 90 minutes and force extra-time, where they scored the decisive goal. A quartet of veterans were on target for the Blues - Drogba, Lampard, Terry and Ivanovic.

Di Matteo continued to heap praise on his team "They were great, they never stopped running. We are now going to wrap them in blankets with a warm water bottle until our next game, and put the heating up a notch. They deserve it"

The draw for the quarter-finals takes place on Friday and Chelsea join APOEL, Barcelona, Bayern Munich, Benfica, Marseille, AC Milan and Real Madrid in the last eight.

The Blues have endured a difficult season, with manager Andre Villas-Boas (AVB) sacked after a defeat to West Bromwich Albion (WBA) and Russian owner Roman Abramovitch sent out an (SOS) to Di Matteo (RDM).

Stamford Bridge superfan David Mears, 39, of Plaistow, East London told the sloof "Looks like the old gits will need one last blast of sanatogen before they're carted off to the home for retarted, oops retired footballers"

Di Matteo told reporters he now wants to emulate his hero, former Chelsea interim manager Avram Grant and take the OAPs all the way to the final of the tournament and lose to a sudden death fluffed John Terry penalty, just like 2008 against fellow English based soccer franchise Manchester United.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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