Written by j.w.

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Monday, 5 March 2012

In a surprise choice Chelsea directors have decided to have the present manager of the Russian team KGB as their new Manager.

In a statement the directors explained that the discipline at Chelsea needed swift action and with Putin's record of smashing heads together and dealing with people who step out of line he was the obvious candidate.

Russian team KGB are going to get massive compensation with several nuclear weapons making the offer too good to turn down.

Spanish manager Jose Mourinho, who had been tipped for the Chelsea post, had made a special plea to be allowed to stay in Spain and Chelsea have decided to let him stay there.

Chelsea manager John Terry admitted he was terrified at the prospect of having Putin's hand on his collar and has requested a transfer to the friendly West Ham promotion winning side, but his plea has been denied and he is set for special training sessions in Siberia.

Chelsea fans think their directors have scored an own goal by having Putin at their new keeper.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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