Written by Ossurworld
Print this
Topics: NFL

Monday, 5 March 2012

How do you make a joke about NFL concussion policy? The NFL has now admitted there is a problem in the league called Bounty-gate.

Humorists are now stuck between a rock and a hard place. Should we break out the pocketknife and cut off our arm to spite our funnybone?

Yes, now, at long last we discover that millionaire athletes, paid minimally thousands of dollars per game, and at maximum, millions per game, are now paid a paltry sum ranging from hundreds to a few palty thousands of dollars or so to maim or to injure an opposing player. Concussions may win a bonus on the New Orleans Saints who are the worst sinners.

The obtuse media takes two contrary positions: it is shocked, shocked, shocked, or the antithesis states it has been going on for decades and is no big deal.

Back fifty years ago when players were paid a pittance, extra money for breaking someone's leg was a good deal. The only other profession to pay for such behavior was an illegal career track with the Mob.

Other media types and radio blabbers are commenting that the brains of NFL athletes are wired differently than the rest of the world, which is why we need them to join the Navy Seals or make money playing football.

We've already suspected that the brain injuries from sports may be more from lifestyle and risk taking than from career choice, the ancillary cause.

Since athletes whose mental deterioration and dementia is growing daily after a few years in their sports may have more cause for lawsuits after Roger Goddell notes that there was possibly a bounty on ruining Peyton Manning's career.

Any regular fan of the NFL may have noted that the nasty play of the games had increased in recent years. Despite greater safety equipment (or so the NFL insists), there were more bizarre and brutal injuries.

Now we learn that it was more than deliberate; it was the pay for performance mentality of coaches. NFL, we have a problem. And it is called thuggery for bucks. The notion of bounty hunters in the Old West always caused an unhappy reaction from criminals or lawmen for good reason. Bounty hunters always lack a basic moral goodness.

Apologists will note that it was far worse in the playing days of Ancient Rome when the gladiators were not unionized. Others will rationalize that coaches must motivate their players because paychecks pale next to championships.

If you ever wondered why hunters have heads of dead animals mounted for their trophy room, you now can look at NFL players and find the answer.

Make Ossurworld's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 2 plus 3?

6 22 23 5
55 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more