Written by radiogagger
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Sunday, 4 March 2012

image for Chelsea sack another manager: Benitez, Griffin and 'arry react
"Form an orderly queue chaps"

Chelsea owner Roman Abramovitch today pulled the plug on under fire manager Andre Villas-Boas and told security guards to escort him from the building.

Following an embarrassing defeat away to lowly West Bromwich Albion yesterday, the knifes were out and the vultures were circling. The Russian billionaire wasted no time in putting first team coach and former blues player Roberto Di Matteo in charge until the end of the season. Or until Chelsea's next defeat, whichever is sooner.

The usual - and unusual suspects - all crawled out of the woodwork on hearing the news.

Rafa Benitez started talking in a cockney accent and told a bloke in a pub that as a fat spaniard he could most definitely get the best out of useless spaniard Fernando Torres.

When approached by Sky Sports journo, 'arry Redknapp leaned out of his car window on his way to the dole office to praise the quality of blues midfielder Frank Lampard - who as it 'appens 'appens to be his nephew.

BNP leader Nick Griffin has little experience in football, but today came forward and said he would be honoured to work with the Chelsea club captain John Terry, but if given the job, would need to have a clear out of some of the 'other players'.

Fabio Capello also reminded everyone he is currently unemployed, telling friends "John Terry owes me - I put my England job on the line for him".

Steve MacClaren promised a return to the 'total football' brought to Stamford Bridge by fellow Dutchmen Rudd Gullit and Goose Hidwink. He was last seen boarding an easyjet flight at Schippol airport.

Jose Mourinho, however, was remaining tight-lipped on the matter, as he arrived at Heathrow in an unmarked washing basket, with a pair of blue pants hiding his face from the paparazzi.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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