Written by Jaggedone
Print this

Sunday, 26 February 2012

image for Secret to Ryan Giggs's success: SEX!
It was obvious Ryan Giggs would be a super-hero and a sex-bomb, ask fellow Welshman Tom Jones!

The amazing Ryan Giggs continues to confound his critics, biology, the footy world, Sir Alex Ferguson - in fact everybody who loves soccer!

He has just completed 900 games for United, a feat which will never be surpassed, and still keeps popping up with crosses and goals that save Man United's neck.

Giggs has more energy than all of the youngsters at United put together (proof of that was the United v Ajax Amsterdam game).

After just witnessing Man City fans burning and hanging effigies of him outside of their very blue pubs as he scored the late winner for a pretty ordinary United against Norwich, it is time to hail Sir Ryan (if you're a United fan).

After the game, Giggs was asked by a disappointed (and very young and beautiful) female reporter from the Norwich Times what his secret is to his phenomenal longevity. He answered: "Meet me at the local motel after the game and I'll divulge all of my secrets!"

The reporter was last seen powdering her nose and heading towards The Very Sexy Lingerie Shop on Fenton Street. (Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more son.)

Arise Sir Ryan and long may you run the socks off of your wannabee, much younger, competitors and long may you keep enjoying the secret to your phenomenal stamina.

Make Jaggedone's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 5 multiplied by 5?

5 9 25 22
61 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more