Written by D Agnew
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Topics: Boxing, Sport, Arguments

Tuesday, 21 February 2012

image for Shame of Boxers - Noble sport in trouble
Gloves used to knock people out with.

The boxing world was in uproar today after the unauthorised fight between David Haye and Dereck Chisora in Germany during a press conference.

Boxing a noble and historic sport involves two men punching each other in the face repeatedly until one of the competitors is knocked unconscious or dies. The scenes on Saturday involved two men punching each other in the face trying to knock each other unconscious.

The boxing community as a whole was disgusted with the two boxers behaviour. Simon Stanley a boxing promoter from south London said "when two men punch each other in the face in front of a Tv camera crew it ruins the sport for everyone."

The trouble started when Dereck was giving an interview explaining how he knocks people unconscious with his fists, he then made an off the cuff comment about the colour of David Hayes wallpaper in his front room. When David heard this he immediately stood up and mentioned Dereck's woefully inadequate allotment, and the fact that he has failed to grow any onion sets this year.

The two men then faced each other off before David did an unprovoked Chinese burn on Dereck and then made the international sign language gesture of a retard, by putting his tongue in front of his lower teeth. Dereck responded by pulling David's pig tails and giving him a Dead arm, followed by a vicious Wedgie.

At this point the crowd got involved in the ruckus and it wasn't until the headmaster had put everyone in detention and confiscated the pairs Pokemon cards that order was resolved.

Both Boxers are expected to be interviewed at a special assembly and will likely go on report or have to work in the quiet room in isolation.

Its not the first time Dereck has been in trouble, in 1998 he once borrowed a book from the school library and returned it late covered in strawberry mousse finger prints.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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