In a battle to be the NBA's all time prolific free throw shooter the Phoenix Suns, Steve Nash is calling foul against the current career free throw percentage leader, the now retired Mark Price. Nash, who had the title going into this season, claims that Price is using a Steve Nash voodoo doll to disrupt his free throws to reclaim the title, an accusation that Price neither denies or admits but just simply giggles whenever the subject comes up.
"I had a feeling that something was wrong from the beginning", said Nash who came into the season with an NBA career best 90.45 shooting percentage from the line. "Instead of shooting the ball in the hoop, my hand would just flip the ball in the air and start patting me on the head. It's not that being patted on the head was so bad it was doing the moonwalk afterwards and then the Lambeau Leap into the stands. Worse yet, I did this in LA".
"Man, I even started high fiving Jack Nicholson and asked Snoop Dogg for a date. Hell, I don't even like dogs especially Snoopy".
"I was definitely sure it was Mark's voodoo doll when I switched uniforms with teammate Marcin Gortat without his or my knowledge during NBA nap time. After getting dressed I looked in the mirror and became so discombobulated that I began running around the locker room looking for a razor to shave my head. What was worse, is that Gortat got dressed in my uniform and everybody started calling him Shrek".
In a news conference, NBA commissioner, David Stern tried to address Nash's concerns but couldn't, due to the fact that he was constantly doing cartwheels across the ceiling while reading a Cliff Notes version of War and Peace. Not that Stern wanted to do cartwheels across the ceiling while reading a Cliff Notes version of War and Peace, in all honestly, Stern would much rather have read a Cliff Notes version of Winnie the Pooh while doing cartwheels across the ceiling.
In other news, it has been rumored that US President Barack Obama has asked Mark Price to create a Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Voodoo doll.