Manchester United's manager, Sir Alex Ferguson, 70, has shown his first signs of dementia by claiming that Manchester is nearer Barcelona than Madrid!
This astonishing geographical error is proof that the 70 year-old Scot should actually have been put out to grass a long time ago. Up till now Sir Alex has "Cleverley" (not Tom) hidden his slow mental demise by downing enough Scotch before giving interviews and then acting as if he was drivelling in his finest Glaswegian brogue (a language that nobody understands anyway).
But now he has been caught with his pants down by claiming the above and everybody knows that Madrid is nearer Barcelona but is still a million miles away from them, so where is Manchester? (in outer space some cynical Liverpool fans would say)
Albeit, Madrid could come quite near to Manchester and then Manchester would move closer to Barcelona sooner than Sir Alex thinks, but that would require a "Special One" replacing a "Demented one" and that could take some time because his Scotch will be the very last thing he forgets, ole!