Written by Skoob1999
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Sunday, 12 February 2012

image for Now Dalglish Issues An Apology Over Handshake Row - Uses Arsene Wenger Defence - Red Faces All Round At Anfield
Absolute Fucking Humbug

Following hot on the heels of a grovelling Luis Suarez apology, which some observers have reported as not being totally kosher, Kenny Dalglish has now issued a statement, apologising for remarks he made in a post match interview at Old Trafford, citing the classic Arsene Wenger defence of: "I didn't see it."

The whole controversy centres around the handshake that didn't happen.

Dalglish appears to have backtracked in order to cover his own arse, and is now claiming that he was unaware of the Suarez snub - which may or may not have been detectable from Dalglish's position, a massive ten yards away.

Curiouser and curiouser.

So it's red faces all round at Anfield, as the damage limitation experts step in, in an attempt to salvage an extremely sticky situation.

LFC publicists returned serve by saying that Patrice Evra's celebrations at the Stretford End were 'excessive and provocative' - which United collectively accepted, adding that Evra got 'a bit carried away' - probably because he'd been racially abused, booed throughout and called a 'liar' by the Anfield crowd, and then having his offer of a conciliatory handshake snubbed.

All of which leaves Liverpool Football Club and its supporters, squirming in a very deep hole, and trying to talk their way out of a deeply embarrassing situation.

Caused by the very person they had, in all good faith, offered their total support to.

"Now that's what I call a right kick in the bollocks," one United fan remarked. "I'm fucking loving this, me. Can't wait to exchange phone numbers with the Scouse cunts next time I'm passing through Everton Valley."

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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