It was revealed by insiders at the FA today that following an inability to win anything for 42 years with the full-time managers they would adopt the successful and well worn television trick of inviting a guest manager for each match.
"The guest presenter role has worked wonders on many comedy programmes and for many years now the England national team has been a huge joke - it seems to make perfect sense" said a source inside the Wembley Stadium HQ.
Reaction has been mixed. We asked two managers in North London for their comments. One responded 'It wasn't me ...', whilst the second stated in a heavy accent 'It wasn't us ...'
Although Stuart Pearce has been put in charge for the match against Holland, a list seen by this reporter confirms a comment from another source, "... of course after 40 years plus of failure with former club football managers we will spread our wings wider ..."
The list of upcoming guest managers are as follows
vs Holland - Stuart Pearce
vs Norway - Simon Amstell
vs Belgium - Alexander Armstrong
vs France - (what really, nobody else at all) Steve McLaren
vs Sweden - Saint Harry of Redknapp
vs Ukraine - Sir Alf Ramsay (via celebrity medium yet TBC)