Written by Skoob1999
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Friday, 10 February 2012

image for England's Wild About 'Arry!
Two Lions And A Rich Bulldog On The Shirt!

Football fans all over England - but mainly in East London, like dahn Bethnal Green, Whitechapel, Plaistow and Bow and that innit - are cock a hoop that, following the departure of the Italian sophisticate, Fabio Capello, it looks highly likely that 'Appy 'Arry Redknapp is likely to accept the post of England football manager within the week.

Most fans welcome the appointment, the concensus being that England should be managed by an Englishman, who at least speaks the language - even if he isn't, by his own admission, very proficient at writing it.

Cleared of tax evasion on Wednesday, shortly before Fabio Capello's resignation, Redknapp is the people's choice to take the position of England manager, and odds on favourite at the bookie's.

The football watching public are expected to greet 'Arry as a Messiah, with him being the 'people's choice,' and various psychobabble adherents point to the West Ham connection, probably because the only time England ever won the World Cup, there were three West Ham players in the starting eleven, Moore, Peters, and Hurst.

'Arry signed on as an apprentice for the Irons in 1964 as a 17 year old, apparently encouraged by Poplar neighbour, Sir Alfred Garnett, a part time docker.

The widely held belief among matchgoing football fans is that 'Arry will restore the influence and thought processes of the common man to the England set-up, and restore the healthy notions of dignity in defeat and crushing disappointment come tournament time.

"At least we'll go dahn playin' adventurous football," commented Whitechapel Iron Hoofs fan, Clive Danton, a motor vehicle mechanic and proprietor of a lock-up chop shop in London Fields, just off Cambridge Heath Road in the East End. "If we've gotta go dahn mate, at least under 'Appy 'Arry we'll go dahn fightin. And we prefer it like that. Sahnd geezer is 'Arry, an' he knows the game inside aht...if yer get me drift...John...Do wot."

England are expected to be crap at Euro 2012, just like usual, but expect to at least give England fans a bit of something to laugh about.

Redknapp's proposed salary and bonus package have not been revealed, but it is widely expected that his dog, Rosie, will take over goalkeeping duties from Joe Hart.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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