NEW YORK, N.Y. -- In a dramatic and controversial move to boost television ratings, Fox News today announced the quarterback of this weekend's losing Super Bowl team will be electrocuted on a special live show following the game. A Fox spokesman said both football players had signed multi-million contracts to participate.
"It's a revival of an ancient Mayan tradition," the Fox spokesman said. "It makes the game extra intense, not to mention the spectacle and drama of the execution. We're going to use a quick zap of electricity to kill the losing quarterback, however, not a crude beheading."
The two starting quarterbacks, Tom Brady and Eli Manning, could not be persuaded to comment, although representatives of both confirmed signature of the special contract. "It's for more money than you could believe," one player's rep said. "Imagine a really really big number -- and then add six zeros."