Written by Rebel Not Taken
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Saturday, 28 January 2012

image for QPR refuse to bite Chelsea bullet.
bullet-proof

Anton Ferdinand has been sent a recently fired bullet in the post, less than 24 hours before Queens Park Rangers' FA Cup tie against Chelsea.

The Metropolitan Police confirmed that they had investigated a sinister package which was posted to QPR's training ground near Heathrow Airport.

"We initially believed that the 'missile' was from Ashley Cole's air rifle, but lab reports indicate that the 'bullet', is in fact a sex toy bearing DNA from several Chelsea players and an unknown 'top' boy, said a nonce from Scotland Yard.

Chelsea skipper John Terry, who faces a first hearing on wednesday at Westminster Magistrates Court on a racially aggravated public order offence against Anton Ferdinand, has denied any knowledge and told Sky Sports that he had been too busy flogging his snide Indian fags in Majorca during Chelsea's mid season break to have done it.

"I had to be on my toes during the holiday because there were loads of Africans out there, all selling fake watches and other knock off gear", said the England captain.

The incident has intensified the toxic atmosphere between the two clubs and QPR players are refusing to shake John Terry's hand in the traditional line up before the game.

"We have smeared dog shit all over the coat hangers in the away team's dressing room and have signed up Abu Hamza to come in and shake John Terry's claw", said a spokesperson from Loftus Road.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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