Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 23 January 2012

image for X-Factor's Simon Cowell Says American Idol's Steven Tyler's Rendition of The National Anthem at The Patriots Vs. Ravens Game Will Not Get Him A Yellow Ticket To Hollywood
New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft gave the 'Game Ball' to Steven Tyler. (Photo by Tom Brady).

FOXBOROUGH, Massachusetts - The New England Patriots defeated the Baltimore Ravens 23-20, for the AFC championship, but it certainly was not due to being inspired by Aerosmith lead singer and American Idol judge Steven Tyler's rendition of "The Star Spangled Banner."

That statement was put out by Simon Cowell, one of the judges of X-Factor as he commented on Steven "The Screamin' Demon's" version of the song that Francis Scott Keys wrote with lyrics by Bernie Taupin.

Cowell, known as "The Sultan of Sarcasm" told Sherwood Frisbee, a reporter with Balls Illustrated Magazine that Tyler was off key and very pitchy and that he will certainly not be receiving a yellow ticket to Hollywood like the contestants who successfully audition for American Idol do.

He said that it sounded so bad that even two of the members of the United States Marine Corps Honor Guard at Gillette Stadium, who were standing behind the 63-year-old Tyler, could be seen doing their best to keep from giggling.

The "Royal Rude Dude" a self-made multi-millionaire from England said that he watched the game in his Hollywood Hills mansion Casa La T-Shirt with his extremely sexy fiancée Mezhgan Hussainy.

Cowell said that while Tyler was singing he turned to Mezhgan and pointed out that three Baltimore Raven players on the sidelines were covering their heads with Gatorade towels to keep from being seen laughing.

Even FOX sports announcer and former Dallas Cowboys great Troy Aikman was overheard asking his partner Joe Buck what the heck was "Lips" Tyler doing.

After the game Frisbee asked Patriots coach Bill Belichick whose idea it had been to have Steven Tyler sing the "National Anthem."

Belichick raised his eyebrows as he took a sip from his Gatorade cup and replied that he personally wanted to have "The Star Spangled Banner" sung by either Taylor Swift or Selena Gomez.

The Patriots coach then pointed out that the final decision to have Tyler sing the song was made by the team's owner 70-year-old Robert Kraft.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: After the game I texted Tango Brisket a reporter with 'Sports Territory Magazine' and asked him who had received the Patriots game ball. He remarked that Mr. Kraft took the game ball and gave it to Steven Tyler since he (Steven) was feeling extremely embarrassed and very depressed at having been booed by a lot of the 68,756 fans.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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