Written by radiogagger
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Tuesday, 24 January 2012

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West Ham FC: Soon to be renamed Chelsea B

Following the suggestion of manager Andre Villas-Boas that the English Premier League teams should follow the model of Spain and field a "B" teams in the lower leagues or buy feeder teams, Chelsea have announced they will buy two local teams from the football league - West Ham and Millwall.

The controversial move has not yet been approved by football authorities who all poured scorn last week on the original comments by Villas-Boas. Abramovitch can easily get round the rules by putting the two smaller clubs in the name of his family.

West Ham are best known for their regular relegations from the EPL, while also supplying three players to the England World Cup win in 1966. Millwall were in the top division in the early 90s and reached the FA Cup Final in 2004, beaten by Man United.
All three clubs have history of fan trouble which may be a problem if they are all 'under one roof' as it were.


Chelsea spokesperson Arry Arseovitch said "Yaaa - this is a significant moment in Chelsea history and we welcome our comrades from East and South London for what is certain to be succesful times ahead. We can develop young talent in the lower leagues - it's almost as if we are creating a 'football factory'.

Fans however were staggered when they heard the news. On twitter Millwall fan Danny Baker said "I'm sure our mob will give this the skunk eye - I'm off for a sausage sandwich" West Ham supporter Ray Winstone said "Are you having a bubble bath?"
Chelsea fan David Baddiel, also on twitter said "It'll never work - and never will we again." David Mears, a psychiatric nurse from Plaistow told the spoof "Whoever made this decision is mental"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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