Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 16 January 2012

image for The Green Bay Packers Are Walloped By The New York Giants 37-20: Aaron Rodgers Makes A Very Surprising Statement
The Packers organization has reportedly hired a investigative agency to find out why the footballs were so slippery.

GREEN BAY - There was no joy at Lambeau Field in Green Bay, Wisconsin, Sunday afternoon, unless you were one of the many New York Giant fans who made the trek up from the Big Apple to the Land of The Proud Cheeseheads.

The reigning Super Bowl champion Green Bay Packers, who finished the season at 15-1, at times looked more like the 2-14 Indianapolis Colts who reside a little bit farther south of Green Bay.

Giants quarterback Eli Manning pretty much had his way and the way that the Packers played, old country boy Eli could have actually played the game barefooted and his team would have still won.

The green and gold Wisconsin team literally imploded. The Packers defensive coordinator was asked by a sports writer for Sports Territory Magazine if the weather had anything to do with the poor Packer performance.

The coach shook his head and replied, "Yeah, that sounds good. Let's go ahead and go with that."

One of the Packer special teams players reportedly said that the game felt like it lasted longer than Kim Kardashian's marriage.

Another noted that he had never in his life seen cheerleaders yelling out their cheers in slow motion.

On a positive note, the concession stand director at Lambeau Field, Mallard "The Duck" Gustermuster, said that the concession booths did break the record for beer sales, Kleenex sales, and Pepto Bismol sales.

Aaron Rodger was sacked a total of four times. The team fumbled three times, had four turnovers, and Packer receivers dropped the ball seven times.

Packers Coach Mike McCarthy reportedly after the game told his receivers that he will be emailing each one of them a copy of Jerry Rice's award winning video, How To Catch A Football.

One of the Packers defensive players who played in the game, or rather who went through the motions was asked if the 21 day layoff had an adverse affect on the team's performance. He smiled and replied, "Yeah, let's go with that - that sounds good."

And so the Green Bay Packers who finished the regular season with a fabulous 15-1 record will have the whole off season to wonder and ponder what in the world of Mozzarella went wrong.

They can ask themselves how could they possibly stink up the place as if someone had left a slab of Gorgonzola out in the tool shed for about two weeks?

An extremely dejected Aaron Rodgers stated trying to find a little bit of sunshine in the damp, dark, Green Bay sky as he remarked, "Oh well, at least now I'll have plenty of time to make some more of those really funny insurance signature title belt move commercials."

Sports Territory Magazine reported that about 320 Packer fans actually demanded a refund. They were told to go on line and fill out an 87 page questionnaire at www.itaintgonnahappen.not

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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