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Monday, 16 January 2012

image for Swansea Stunned By Last Gasp Henry Equaliser
I Ain't Half Got The Guts Trouble

Swansea City officials revealed that they have lodged an appeal with the FA following a late equaliser by Gunners legend Thierry Henry, levelling the scores at 3-3 and snatching a valuable point from the jaws of defeat.

Both teams had left the pitch, thinking that the Swans had secured a well-earned 3-2 victory, when ten minutes later, Henry emerged from the players tunnel, dropped a ball onto the pitch, ambled towards the goal mouth and nonchalantly slid the ball into the unguarded net.

Confused supporters, making their way out of the stadium were apparently unaware that Henry had scored a dramatic last gasp equaliser, thinking that he was just doing a warm down.

"I just thought he was pissin' about boyo isnit," one fan said later, after hearing that the referee had allowed the goal to stand. "I mean, bach, there was only Henry on the pitch. I didn' even see the ref, much less realise that he'd allowed the goal to stand. Isn'it and that bach."

Swansea fan, and prominent no win-no fee injury lawyer, Daffyd Taff-Jones Meredith, claiming to be acting on behalf of Swansea City, was understandably outraged.

"It's a bloody disgrace is this bach!" he raged in Welsh. "The bloody game was over and done with, and then Mister va va bastard voom comes on ten minutes after the feckin' whistle and scores an equaliser? That's takin' the piss bach. I know those English bastards at the FA hate us for being Welsh and that boyo but this is just taking the piss to an extreme level of piss taking. They never allowed this sort of thing against Ian Holloway at Blackpool. We'll see the buggers in court."

In a low key interview conducted with a local radio DJ, Bryn Griffiths, a man purporting to be Arsene Wenger said:

"I always tell the team to play to the whistle. And zat ze game is not over until ze morbidly obese madamoiselle bursts into song. The team did not hear the whistle, and neither did I, so I 'ad a word with Thierry and told him to get back out zere and put le ballon in ze net. Being an experienced professional, zat is wot he did, and in so doing, he salvaged a point for us. Sometimes ziss game is all about thinking outside of ze box, and Thierry is ze best in the business."

When approached by a Skoob Sports News reporter, an FA official said that he had no idea what the hell we were talking about, that it was the first he'd heard of a last minute Henry equaliser, and that as far as he was concerned, Swansea won the game 3-2.

The SSN reporter then beat a hasty retreat as the FA man summoned a passing policeman.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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