Written by Skoob1999
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Friday, 13 January 2012

image for Carlos Tevez Enthusiastic About Proposed Burnley Offer
Tevez? A Cad And A Scoundrel!

After being rejected by Manchester United, suspended by Manchester City, and snubbed by just about everybody else, controversial striker, Carlos Tevez is allegedly enthusiastic about an offer from Burnley.

Who have put in an offer to Manchester City for him, reported to be in the region of thirty quid, two hundred quid a week in wages, and an unlimited supply of Holland's pies.

Kia Joorabchian, Tevez's agent, has apparently advised the troubled little Argentinian to accept the offer, as playing for Burnley is preferable to playing for Skelmersdale United. If only by a narrow margin. According to certain sources.

Apparently, Tevez's heart was always set upon playing for Burnley since the poverty stricken days of his Buenos Aries childhood - days he spent dreaming about a fog shrouded Turf Moor, glamorous nights out up Duke Bar, and going to the bingo at the Unity Club. Not to mention whiling away an evening or two there whilst off duty being entertained by the resident organist.

Lifelong Burnley fan, Fred "The Bloody" Savage, of Leyland Road, a stone's throw from Turf Moor told reporters:

"Quite frankly, we don't want the twat, and we think it's all just a bit of a publicity stunt to be honest. I reckon that the bugger's nowt but bloody trouble. To be honest, I'd prefer it if we dragged Paul Fletcher, or Gordon Harris or somebody out of retirement, like United did with Scholes, or Arsenal did with that va va voom bloke. I can't believe he'd want to come to Burnley anyway - not even for two hundred quid a week and as many Holland's pies as the greedy get can scoff. Ungrateful twat."

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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