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Monday, 9 January 2012

image for Transfer Window: Villas-Boas denies Chelsea will sell Torres in January
The anticipation for a Torres goal reverberated around the Bridge

Chelsea manager Andre Villa-Boas has denied the club will sell £50million flop striker Fernando Torres in the January transfer window.

"It's an ABSOLUTE LIE" AVB grumbled into a microphone shoved into his face after another failure to pick up three points in a crucial 'EPL' game. "We absolutely won't be selling him - who on earth would pay a penny for the useless spaniard? Instead we will be looking for a swap deal... I'm hoping to get twelve tracksuits for him from Crockenhill (that they got from Gillingham for Tony Cascarino) - although that actually might be too optimistic - maybe six tracksuits is a fairer reflection of his current value"

TAKE IT AWAY
With Nicolas 'Richard' Anelka gone for a chinese takeaway and Drogba & Lampard expected to follow to a fast food outlet of similar quality - the Mourinho era at Stamford Bridge is expected to soon be erased from history as Andre Villa-Boas rebuilds the blues.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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