Written by radiogagger
Print this

Saturday, 7 January 2012

image for Eamonn Holmes says Manchester United fans 'starved' of success
Holmes bites hard into United form

SKY tv presenter and disgruntled celebrity Manchester united fan Eammon 'donut' Holmes spoke out today about his beloved United's poor run of form and recent downgrading by credit rating agencies S&P, Moodys and Fitch.

"The whole thing is a shambles" said Holmes. "The downgrading will eat into the players confidence, but they have to step up to the plate and show they are hungry enough to wear the United shirt."

Stopping for a mouthful of a BLT sandwich he had ordered for elevenses he continued "Now is the time for the responsible players to take a bite of the cherry and deliver a feast of football for us supporters who have been starved of success over the last few months."

Speaking like a true pro Holmes declared "If any player has lost his appetite for success, then he should not be in the team - full stop.

The recent defeat to Blackburn hit me real hard - a team bottom of the food chain - I mean league table, have come to Old Trafford and dined like kings for the day - can we stop this interview now - I'm off for a KFC bucket."

Make radiogagger's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Stop - Warning

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature.

This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

To confirm you have acknowledged this warning, and wish to continue to read the article, please click the following link.

Otherwise, please click here to go back to the home page.


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 2 multiplied by 5?

6 5 10 21
42 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more