Written by Jaggedone
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Thursday, 5 January 2012

image for Magpies steal United's jewels!
Magpies over Newcastle stole Manchester's jewels and the show!

A swarm of Magpies flew over Newcastle last night and stole all of United's jewels, and the show! In fact United's jewels didn't shine at all, they were too busy being "rubbed up" and pecked at by the Black and White flock of Magpies.

United's brightest jewel was a 38 year-old fading Welsh diamond and their dullest was an over-paid cloudy diamond from Liverpool. The Magpies had no problems stealing both of them from under the noses of their ancient Scottish Ruby, who certainly needs a Wax!

The Magpies deserved all of their "booty" after booting the United Jewels into touch and no United fan can complain about their rapidly fading team of "sparklers" who fizzed out over the New Year.

It's time for their ancient, rapidly fading Scottish gem to buy some new diamonds, strengthen their leaking vaults and stop the likes of Magpies having easy pickings otherwise those other bright, shining gems from down the road will begin to look like like Fort Knox, golden!!! (No Magpies could ever break into that fortress laden with gold!)

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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