Representatives of John Terry are taking legal advice after an image resembling the footballer appeared on cigarette packs in India.
The photograph of a blurred head and pale torso appears above the words SMOKING CIGARETTES CAN LEAD TO BEING CAPTAIN OF CHELSEA.
Indian advertising officials selected Johh Terry's face to be used on packets of popular Gold Flake fags as part of a campaign to warn young Indians of the tragic consequences of smoking.
"Many young Indians have started poncing round in replica Chelsea shirts and calling other people fucking cunts. They have also been caught on CCTV cameras pissing on lepers and shagging their colleagues' girlfriends after smoking these cigarettes. We need to send out a strong message that this type of anti-social behaviour is addictive and could result in them being made captain of Chelsea" said Health Minister Raj Delhi-Belly.
Although the mugshot used on the cigarette packets is blurred, it is unmistakably that of John Terry and the discovery brought a swift response from the player's agent, Pikey Management.
"It's come to our attention that an image of our client has been printed on thousands of packets of cigarettes without our consent. We have now instructed John Terry's mum to go on a shoplifting spree in Indian supermarkets and empty the shelves of all stock" said a spokesperson.