Written by Chris Brasington
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Topics: Jesus

Thursday, 9 February 2006

image for HHH vs Jesus: Who is the real "king of kings"
Jesus:Can turn water into wine. HHH:Can turn main eventers into jobbers

Stanford,Conn-Wrestlemania is the WWE's version of the superbowl. It the event where the biggest matches are shown on the grandest stage. And no match is bigger than the one announced at WWE headquarters this week. HHH is one of the WWE's top performers. He main evented most of their pay per views and has held their world championship 10 times. He has also gone by many names like the cerebral assisian and the god of wrestling. But in the past few weeks, he has gone by a new moniker...the king of kings.

News of this traveled around the globe and to one place you wouldn't think, Heaven. When Jesus found out about someone else using his nickmane, he was a little miffed. Representives from the Pearly Gates traveled to WWE headquarters to discuss the use of the name.

Vince McMahon, the WWE chairman, suggested a match at Wreslemania instead of legal acton. The camp from Heaven hesitated at first, but agreed only because it's great PR for Jesus...and the fact that he doesn't like HHH.

So it was then announced, HHH vs Jesus, at Wrestlemania on April 2, 2006. This will be the shows top match on an allready stacked card, which includes:

-Kurt Angle vs Randy Orton for the World Championship in a Rey Mysterio on a pole match.
-John Cena vs the WWE fans.
-Edge vs Lita in a between the sheets match.
-Big show vs Shelton Benjamin's mama. Winner gets all the cheeseburger they can eat!
-Matt Hardy vs all the superstars on Raw and Smackdown. Hardy will lay on his back as all other wrestlers come in an pin him.
-WWE divas do something, wearing bearly anyrhiing.A nip slip is expected!

No this is not the first time that Jesus has been in the ring. A few years ago, Jesus had a boxing match in a small Colorado town against the Prince of Darkness. But the match turned out to be rigged by Satan. He convinced the towns people into betting on him. He took a dive and later revealed that he bet on Jesus. He then took the money and invested it on real estate.
Word has it that Jesus is taking this very seriously. So serious, that he is recruiting the best that the afterlife has to offer. Names like "Classy" Freddy Blassie, Chris Candido,and Heaven's newest accusition, Eddie Guerrero, have been brought in to train the savior.

After hearing how Jesus was training,HHH was Quoted as saying, "I'll bury Jesus like I bury all the other wrestlers in the WWE!" He then proceded to spit water in this reporter's face and began to scarf down a whole pizza.
When asked about his physical appearance and how it could affect his match, HHH says "Hey, I may not be cut as I used to be, Hell I can be as fat as I want to be, I'll still get over. And Jesus will do the job, cause I am the true "king of kings"!"

Vince Mcmahon is very excited about Wrestlemania and the HHH/Jesus.
"HHH is the greatest wrestler of all time. Not only will he beat Jesus and take the name of "king of kings". But he will become a better savior! Cause HHH can perform mircles. He married my daughter...and thats a mircle."

We will see who will win when Wrestlemania 22 takes place on April 2, 2006. Live on Pay per view.

And on an unrelated note, HHH was voted by Out magazine for having the gayest beard of 2005.

Make Chris Brasington's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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