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Saturday, 31 December 2011

image for Mancini begs Balotelli to quit his five-a-day smoking habit
Puff Me Baby No More Time

Manchester City manager Roberto Mancini has revealed that controversial striker Mario Balotelli is refusing to give up a smoking habit thought to involve up to two packets of cigarettes a week.

"I am against smoking - I urged him to give up but I am not his mother or father" Smoke then started to froth out of his ears as Mancini continued. "If I was his mother or father I would lock him in the house except for match-days, take away his cigarettes, his car keys, his bus pass, his i-phone and his NUTS magazine"

Mancini then briefly paused for breath before continuing "I want to bring him up correctly and see him do well on the pitch, make his parents proud of him - but NO - he has to be the naughty boy on the step and pretend to be a rock star, throwing fireworks out of the window, wearing silly-billy t-shirts underneath his match shirt, and the ULTIMATE - bringing shame on his family by not being able to put a training bib on properly while tv camera's focus on him"

It is thought that Ballotelli's habit started after he misunderstood a memo issued by the club doctor telling all players to eat five portions of FRUIT and VEG a day.

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