Written by IainB
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Thursday, 22 December 2011

image for Paul Scholes: John Terry called me Gingernut
A vow of silence means he never called anybody inergg

John Terry is in even more hot water as Paul Scholes has come forward to pour more scorn on the beleaguered footballer with the announcement that Terry called Scholes a Gingernut.

"It was when United played Chelsea at Stamford Bridge," said Scholes. "It's an odd name that, isn't it, Stamford Bridge. You'd think they'd either have a ford, or a bridge, why both? Surely the bridge replaced the ford. I mean why continue to use a ford if there's a bridge there. I never understood that one. And what is a stam, and why would it want to cross a river? I worked with a Japp Stam, I wonder if it was him."

This isn't the first time that Terry has used the letters G I N G E R when attempting to wind up opposition players, and he doesn't always use them in the same order.

"He called me egg rin," said Gordon Strachan, football manager, and former player. "I don't even know what that means, and I'm Scottish. I generally know what every obscure word means."

John Terry was unavailable for comment. Which wasn't like him. His PR firm, He Didn't Do It, have refuted that John Terry has ever uttered a word, ever.

"Mr Terry took a vow of silence when he was eight," they said. "And has not uttered a word since. Because of this, he is completely innocent of any and all charges levelled at him. He can't possibly have called anybody anything, when he never speaks."

With the accusations flying about John Terry off the field, it is a question of how much longer he can stay on the grass. Although that's one rumour that has yet to surface.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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