Sir Alex Ferguson has joined hands with the British PM in a political show of solidarity by proving that Britain doesn't need Europe, it's debts, the Champions League or Angela Merkel for that matter too.
David Cameron sent Sir Alex a congratulation telegramme for their superbly, inept performance in Basel last night and Sir Alex replied, "we did our best to support British needs, dankerschoen!"
Before the match Sir Alex actually promised Cameron that United didn't want anything to do with UEFA, The Champions League and Europe generally, just like the Conservatives. He also promised Cameron that they would fly out of the bum Europa league a.s.a.p by playing his U16s and dropping Park, Giggs, Berbatov, Owen and the rest of the losers.
United will now concentrate purely on winning in the UK and Sir Alex also suggested to Cameron to support him in his goal to have a purely British "Chumpions League" including those other perrenial losers, amongst others, Celtic, Rangers and Newport City (?). It promises to be a cracker of a competition and who the hell needs FC Barcelona and Real Madrid anyway? (They'll only win it anyway)
The Rt Hon. David Cameron has promised Sir Alex that he will receive a further knighthood and United players will all become OBE's for their services to the Conservative party, Queen and country.
Who needs a 100 million Euro's anyway when you can stay at home and play Celtic or Rangers in the final of the "British Chumpions League"!