Written by Skoob1999
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Sunday, 4 December 2011

image for Noisy Neighbours To Batter Man United Again In FA Cup 3rd Round
Look! You Can See The Stretford End From Here!

Mortified Manchester United fans could only reel back from their TV sets in abject terror this afternoon as the FA Cup 3rd Round draw was made at Wembley. It's Manchester City versus Manchester United at the Shittihead Stadium in the grand old tournament.

It's a clash which City fans anticipate with relish (Or some other savoury spiced vegetable dip type concoction.) as they look for a repeat of City's 6-1 demolition of the Salford rags, in their own back yard.

The disappointment in the United strongholds of Lower Broughton, Wythenshawe, and Cheetham Hill was almost tangible, as tens of thousands of United fans beat a hasty retreat to the toilet.

In contrast, City fans were seen dancing in the streets of Moss Side, Hulme, and parts of Gorton - mainly wearing parkas and shouting:

"Yesss! Let's 'ave it!!!"

Independent observers report that it hasn't been as quiet in the red parts of town since Liverpool dominated the domestic scene in the 1970's and 80's.

One commentator described Salford Precinct as being 'like a morgue' as disgruntled United fans contemplate yet another mauling at the hands of the noisy neighbours.

Publican, George St Dragone, who runs a pub in Regent Road, described the scenes today as 'unprecedented.'

"I've never seen so many people drowning their sorrows in my life. And they haven't even played the tie yet!" he lamented.

City fan and aspiring X-Factor contestant, Liam O'Swagger, commented from his home in London's fashionable Ladbroke Grove:

"We're all mad for it. They're not up for it. Them rags have been long overdue for a good arse kicking. Arrogant Cockney bastards. That six-one was just the beginning. The noisy neighbours have only just started. We're gonna be more than noisy - we're gonna be the neighbours from hell. Bring 'em on! Let's 'ave it!"

Even United fan, Jarbo the Killer was too distraught to talk about the upcoming game, but an insider did reveal that a delegation of United fans had chartered a hearse for the short trip across town to the Shittihead Stadium.

City legend, Mike Summerbee is 86 - although he still occasionally plays keepy-uppy in his back garden whilst hurling abuse over the fence at neighbour, Paddy Crerand, the former United cool half back.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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