Written by IainB
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Sunday, 27 November 2011

image for Rodgers and Hammerstein Estate go after Liverpool FC
The Kop End burning lawyers

The estate of Rodgers and Hammerstein are going after Liverpool Football Club in Liverpool for unclaimed royalties dating back sixty years.

"We have discovered," said Roger Shammerstein (no relation), lawyer for the estate, "that Liverpool Association Football Club have been singing the Rodgers and Hammerstein song, You'll Never Walk Alone since the early nineteen sixties."

The song was originally penned by the musical duo back in 1945, but there have been numerous copyright extensions due to constant re-recordings of the song by a variety of artists from Jerry and Pacemakers to John Barrowman, with even Croatian rock band Pips Chips and Videoclips getting in on the act.

"The copyright for this song has never expired," said Shammerstein. "The estate still hold it."

According to the calculations calculated on a calculator by Shammerstein, there are approximately fifty thousand people in Anfield for any given match, with approximately fifteen hundred matches played there since 1961 when the song was adopted.

"The copyright laws are quite clear," said Shammerstein. "Public performances of the song require monies paid to the estate. It is ten thousand dollars per performance. We have worked out that this means that each and every Liverpool fan owes the estate three hundred dollars each. We will be collecting it at their next home match."

Steven "Steve" Stevens, a lifelong supporter of Liverpool FC thinks that he has found a loophole in Shammerstein's logic.

"Well, there's the public performance bit," said Stevens. "As everybody in the ground is singing it, who's listening? Can't be a public performance if nobody is listening."

He has one other reason why Shammerstein will never see a penny.

"If he comes here and tries to get three hundred dollars off us, he'll be going home face down in the Mersey."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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