Written by Jaggedone
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Monday, 21 November 2011

image for God is a Man United fan!
Without him United would be Wigan!

God is certainly a Man United fan and it has been proven many times. He follows United in every game and orders Chicharito to get on his knees, makes their opponents miss open goals and even lets United win when they're playing lousy.

Ever since 1958 God decided to support United and do everything in his power to make sure they win everything. Even in United's dark periods he was always there because he appointed Tommy Docherty as their manager and he worked miracles even when he was drunk.

Then Sir Alex popped up, no coincidence here because God told him to buy "Mon Dieu" and the rest is history. The latest appearance of God working miracles at United is Chicharito, who has God sitting on his shoulders every time he runs into the penalty box, does nothing else, but scores everytime, a miracle!

Since losing to their arch rivals United have produced miracles, playing crap and winning 1-0 as if their opponents are mesmerised by United playing so badly and forgetting to score themselves: No this is God's work because although God is forgiving (after the 1-6 you must be forgiving, again proof of a Holy intervention) he cannot support any other team, especially Liverpool. So United will eventually bamboozle the whole world, play well again, entertain their patient fans and eventually catch City, if we all pray hard enough!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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