Written by Premier wig

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Topics: Carlos Tevez

Tuesday, 15 November 2011

image for Tevez: The real reason for his depression
Carlos Tevez before his depression

Carlos Trevez cuts a lonely figure as he walks the streets in the early hours of the morning in Argentina. Most of the world press are reporting he depressed as he isn't playing regularly football but we know the truth and there are two reasons.

The first and most important is he can't find his bank card! He's looked everywhere for it but it seems to have disappeared and its really getting him down.

The second reason is he can't get Tetley tea bags in his native country and since he arrived in Manchester four years ago he's being addicted to the stuff.

"He have just three days to pay or I go off. He is in a bad moody because the bank are taking its time to give him his card but my fault that isn't. I offer him coffee and he want to bite my head off. This tea not here is getting him down and we not can do anything until he pays which he can't," his housekeeper told us.

When his team mates were asked did they miss him they said, "I'm sorry, who?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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