Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 14 November 2011

image for NASCAR's Kyle Busch Has Hired The Services of Famed Attorney Gloria Allred
NASCAR has stated that Kyle Busch will have to enroll in Anger Management Classes.

AVONDALE, Arizona - Kyle Busch who let road rage get to him down at The Truck Series in Texas sat down and made an apology to the makers of M&M's Plain and M&M's Peanut, who are his primary sponsors.

Busch, sat at a table while eating a bag of M&M's and said that he regrets his actions which caused Ron Hornaday, Jr. to lose control of his car and wreck into the wall.

The man who drives car number 18, was wearing a plain white T-shirt, plain 501 blue jeans, and plain flip flops with no sponsor patches showing anywhere, said that he wanted to apologize to his team owner Joe Gibbs, NASCAR, his team, his peers, his fans, the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders, President Obama, and Hank Williams, Jr.

He went on to say that he realizes that he should not have been playing the radio so loud during the race which did distract him a bit as he was singing along to Blake Shelton's hit song "Honeybee."

Reports are that Busch, who purposely added the "c" to his last name so as not to be confused with Kyle Bush, President George W. Bush's second cousin, has been suspended from on track activities in Texas, Vermont, and Hawaii.

He has also been fined $53,417, placed on probation for the rest of the year, and told that he will not be allowed to eat any M&Ms for six months starting on December 1, 2011.

NASCAR has also informed him that he will have to enroll in Anger Management Classes and receive a score of no less than 97 in order to fulfil his probation requirement and have the probation lifted.

Busch has said that he agrees with the suspension part, the probation part, and the fine, but that he is not happy about not being allowed to eat any M&Ms for six months.

He spoke with Buck Yazoo of Yippee-Ki-Yay Magazine and told him that he has hired famed Left Coast attorney Gloria Allred to get the M&Ms ban reversed.

SIDENOTE: Gloria Allred usually only handles cases pertaining to sexual harassment but she agreed to take on this case because her grandmother Bertha Violet Ruffleberry, 101, is a big NASCAR fan.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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