England managed to beat Spain last night in a sensational fashion, they only touched the ball once in earnest! The free kick that baffled the Spanish defence hit the post and Lamps got his bonce stuck in the way.
The Spanish playing their ticka-tacka footie gave the English boys the run around all night and at half-time they were so dizzy they were issued with sea-sickness tablets.
This seemed to have a stabilising effect for two minutes on England as Spain came out of the dressing room still yawning. The ball fortunately rebounded towards the Spanish goal and a Spanish defender, still half asleep through boredom, fouled a lonely English attacker. The resulting free kick bounced off the post and the rest is history.
After the game the English physios spent two hours getting the knots out of the English players legs whilst the Spanish physios spent two hours removing the sleep from the Spanish players eyes!