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Saturday, 12 November 2011

image for England Favourites For 2014 World Cup According To Chiswick Pundit
World Champions 2014. Put Your House On It. Not Really...Gamble Responsibly.

Chiswick's leading football pundit was confidently predicting that England will win the 2014 World Cup tournament at a canter, following the three lions dramatic 1-0 Wembley victory over reigning world champions Spain.

"Lamps is still only 33," Juanita Juan said at the Turnham Green branch of Interflora. "He'll only be 36 when the World Cup comes around again, and judging by the way he stooped to nod the ball into an empty net this evening, his arthritic knees and back don't seem to be playing him up too badly."

Whilst it's established on the record that Spain hit a post in the second half, the record books will reflect that England won this clash with the Spaniards by a goal to nil, courtesy of acting skipper, Frank Lampard.

With Spanish football being regarded as currently of the highest standard on the planet, with the Spanish national team world champions, and FC Barcelona peerlessly dominating the European football scene, Juanita Juan's assertion that England will waltz through the World Cup in 2014 has caused raised eyebrows in many circles.

Juanita though, insisted that England will win the World Cup easily.

"They'll walk it," she said. "Easy peasy. And Sir Alex at Manchester United will knock Barcelona off their bloody perch too before he retires. You can count on it. As sure as eggs is huevos, an oeuf is an ouef and two ouefs is more than an oeuf. Thankyou - mine's an advocaat."

Juanita laughed off suggestions that she looks at the world through severely crossed eyes, saying that like any good schoolteacher, she has total control over her pupils.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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