ROCHESTER, Michigan - Ron Paul, who says that he knows much more about the game of basketball than he does about the game of politics, remarked that NFL (sic) Commissioner David Steenburgen (sic) needs to stop making his spoiled brat, playground bully threats and get this baseball (sic) lockout problem ironed out once and for all.
Ron Paul likes to use basketball terms and phrases in his political speeches such as "I can slam dunk problems on the national economy much better than Kobe Bryant and Dirk Nowitzki can hit home runs (sic)."
The "Old Geezer" who has repeatedly denied any romantic involvement with fellow GOPer Michele Bachmann told Tango Brisket of Sports Territory Magazine that Commissioner Stern really needs to stop acting like he's the shorter male version of Arizona Governor Jan "The Man" Brewer and stop trying to tell everyone and their mothers-in-law what to do.
Paul added that King David forgets that he is talking to mature, adult, black, extremely tall NBA basketball players and not to Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith's little kids Jaden and Willow.
Commissioner Stern has already shown that he has absolutely no credibility when she says that if the players do not take the deal that is offered by 2:15 p.m. (Central Standard Time) on Wednesday that the next deal will be much less and that if they do not take that deal by 4:35 a.m. (Mountain Standard Time) on Thursday then the next offer will be even less than the two or five previous ones and so on and so forth.
SIDENOTE: David Stern will be appearing on Late Night With David Letterman and reading Letterman's Top Ten Reasons Why Basketballs Are Round.