Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 10 November 2011

image for Palace 'tip-off' behind England black armbands deal
Pssst, wanna hear a premonition Your Maj?

London - Someone in Buckingham Palace has had a strong hunch that the Queen might kick the bucket this weekend just as the England football squad lines up against Spain in a friendly.

The premonition has seen players issued with black armbands ahead of a right royal RIP confidently predicted by Palace necrologist Dame Poppy Hexoplasm.

"We're taking no chances," the England team wardrobe coach admitted today, "and it could happen just like that if the boys screw up, say, over an own goal or something."

The 'hunch' comes amid widespread eschatology fears that a newly discovered Leonardo Da Vinci painting currently on exhibit at the National 'predicts' an 11/11/11 Armistice Day death of the impostor monarch.

Christ as 'Salvator Mundi' presents a crystal ball allegory with the Redeemer's fingers crossed in a universal gesture of confidently hedging His Remembrance Weekend bets.

Gallery sources commented today that the Queen has been put off from attending the exhibition because of the painting's 'hidden message' that's triggered widespread pandemonium at FA headquarters over the England team's armbands deal.

Saturday's 3pm kick-off may yet take place.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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