Written by Shrave
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Wednesday, 2 November 2011

image for Buffalo Bill Ryan Fitzpatrick is not Exceeding Expectations in Bed, Lover Says
Ryan Fitzpatrick shown here pondering his next moves in bed

Ryan Fitzpatrick has recently come under attack by a mysterious voice recording. His troubles started this week when a weird pornographic tape was distributed by Fitzpatrick's lover, who wishes to be referred to as the "Lover."

In the tape, it's actually too dark to see the details, but the "Lover" is on top of what appears to be a bed and is heard saying, "You aren't meeting my expectations."

There is a sudden silence and you can hear what many audiologists believe to be, "Sorry."

This raises another point? Are today's males not meeting expectations in bed because their expectations at work are just too freakin' high?

"I don't know," says social scientist Steve Duningham.

The Buffalo Police Department is currently investigating the authenticity of Duningham's remarks.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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