Written by Monkey Woods
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Monday, 31 October 2011

image for John Terry To Wear Studs In Future
Despite the fact that he wasn't wearing any, Terry clearly sees himself as something of a stud

Chelsea and England captain John Terry has told fans on the club's website that he intends to wear studs in his boots in the future after slipping and presenting Arsenal with a match-winning goal in his side's 5-3 loss to Arsenal at Stamford Bridge at the weekend.

Terry, also currently involved in another controversy on the subject of racism, 'cockled over' and allowed Robin Van Persie to steal in and grab Arsenal's fourth goal on 85 minutes, a goal to which he then added another to complete his hat-trick just before the final whistle.

It was no more than Arsenal deserved, and no less than Terry deserves, an opinion to which Anton Ferdinand, the man at the brunt of Terry's alleged scathing n-word attack, would, presumably, subscribe.

Terry has a history of slipping. He most famously slipped when taking a penalty in the Champions League Final against Manchester United in Moscow in 2008. He fluffed the spot-kick, effectively handing the trophy to the Reds. Manchester City Council subsequently handed him the freedom of the city for his trouble.

And amateur football pundit Moys Kenwood has just this morning asked for restraint to be shown by fans who have threatened the luckless Terry with the launching onto the pitch of banana skins at future matches. He said:

"I think it's a great idea!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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