Written by Alvin Taveras
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Friday, 28 October 2011

image for First Time Ever In World Series History That A Seventh Game Is Necessary Since 2002

ST. LOUIS - Baseball analysts have called it the best series their eyes have ever seen. Commissioner Bud Selig will be paid a time and a half for the very first time. Fox Network touched their nose with their tongue and poked fun at TBS on Facebook. This is historical October baseball at its finest minus the best teams.

Despite the sloppiness of play by both teams in Game 6 and the minor league play all series long, thus far front-running fans are thoroughly learning how to breathe in and out again. In fact, the last time a world series was this good without the best teams in baseball was last year when the San Francisco Giants defeated the Texas Rangers in five games without a pet squirrel.

The hero of game six is of course the headline story. The 'what's his name again' David Freese, who for the first time ever has achieved something worthy to hang in his basement, was so excited about the walk-off homerun he was treated for post traumatic stress disorder by local medics and went to the hospital for further evaluations.

But what has made this World Series so special, even after the dugout phone mishap, the squirrel being eaten by a vulture, and the beer for cops only after the fourth inning, is the narrative that will be recorded in history, namely, a game 7 and whatever ESPN wants to show over and over and over again.

When we asked a baseball expert how great does this series compare to the rest of them he said, "Nobody remembers 2002 because it's too far back." He adds, "Heck I can't even remember who won last year and I'm supposed to be the expert."

Unfortunately, St. Louis Cardinal Manager Tony LaRussa missed the homerun due to more dugout phone trouble. He was calling the peanut guy because Albert Pujols accidentally spilled the peanuts bag on his way to the bathroom.

In related news, TBS upset about the inappropriate poke they received from Fox. They're not sure how to retaliate.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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