Written by IainB
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Sunday, 23 October 2011

Stalybridge Celtic have set a personal best record by going unbeaten at home for nearly the whole of 2011, and manager Jim Harvey has come forward to explain how such a record was set.

"It's quite simply down to the fans at the club," said former Northern Ireland and Morecambe manager, Harvey. "This is one dedicated set of fans."

According to Harvey, who played a good portion of his career at Tranmere Rovers, the dedicated fans have been wearing the same underpants, or the same socks, or the same tee-shirt since the run started back in January 2011.

"Some of these clothes are beginning to smell a little," said Harvey. "However, the magic is still working, so these faithful fanatical followers of the club continue to follow their routines."

Superstitious behaviour by fans is common throughout football, but eventually all other fans wash their vest or try drinking from a red cup instead of a blue one on the morning of a match. Not so the fans of Stalybridge Celtic.

"Rituals and routines by the fans are the source of a team's success," said Harvey. "Some players have superstitions such as putting on their shirt only once they are on the pitch, or kissing a bald head every time they score, but it is not these that create such long runs."

Harvey hopes that fans that insist on wearing their woolly hats to every match, regardless of how clement the weather continue to do so.

"If our fans can continue their rituals, then we will get promotion this season," he said. "Hopefully, they will continue to do so once we have and get us into the holy grail of the football league."

Stuart Perstious, a lifelong fan of Stalybridge Celtic is happy that the fans' commitment has been acknowledged.

"I've been wearing the same shirt, same socks and same underpants since January," he said. "It is good that Harvey has given us the nod that he understands our sacrifice to the cause! My wife certainly hasn't. I've twice caught her about to wash my lucky pants!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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