Written by Alvin Taveras
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Sunday, 23 October 2011

image for Detroit Lions Coach Jim Schwartz Still Pissed Off About Last Week's Handshake

DETROIT - It's been one week since Jim Schwartz was publically embarrassed out of his mind by 49ers head coach Jim Harbaugh. Unfortunately, there is still nothing Coach Swartz can do about it.

Story goes as this: Immediately, at the end of the last week's game, the coaches, who traditionally run toward the middle of the field to give a handshake as a gesture of sportsmanship, did so except that one coach did so in an arrogant and obnoxious way. As the coaches neared each other, both opened their hands for the handshake as their feet came to a halt, except it was Coach Harbaugh who ran past Coach Schwartz and brushed him without a word said.

National Football League John. G. Wooden Rehabilitation Warden reviewed the videotape and decided there was nothing apparently wrong in the video saying, "The coaches collided and decided to run and talk at the same time."

In reality, though, when the NFL referees blow the last whistle, the NFL commissioner immediately loses jurisdiction and can no longer afford to press any charges.

Pundits and fans are hoping that Coach Schwartz isn't that distracted because the Detroit Lions have not been this good since Barry Sanders. At least, it was fun watching him even though they weren't always good.

Meanwhile 49ers head coach Jim Harbaugh is happy as he can be and ready to play some football.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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