Written by j.w.
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Topics: Horse Racing

Friday, 21 October 2011

image for Big Max becomes Chief Whip
Horse racing back to normal

In a bid to resolve the Jockey's Dispute the British Horse Racing Authority have agreed terms for Max Mousey to become their President.

Big Max declared he was all for the whip and people should be allowed to get pleasure from watching horses whipped.

'This is a personal matter' he told reporters in Epsom 'you may think it is cruel but the horses love it just as much as I do.'

A passing horse let out a great NEIGH at this juncture and was quietly taken away to have its legs broken in the next race.

Priscilla Turpentine, President of the Whip Me Society came to Big Max's defence. 'I've enjoyed the whip for many years' she declared 'and I have lovely tattoos to show off to anyone interested.'

Big Max took her to one side and told 'the silly bitch' to Calm Down and she smiled with pleasure. Then a group of MP's argued that the Chief Whip should be removed and they should be able to vote for a referendum on Europe.

Those trying to whip up a movement against Big Max claimed the offering was horrible and unappetising. 'Mousey should eat his words' said one 'I think he should be given the cat'. At this he produced a cat with nine tails.

With Big Max at the helm we are betting that horse racing will be back to normal soon.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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