Written by Jaggedone
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Thursday, 20 October 2011

image for Man City have a secret weapon for Sunday's derby!
Jaggedone's CIA reporters risk their lives reporting from dangerous war zones like Man City!

The rhetoric bullshit in the build up to Sunday's Manchester derby is gradually gathering pace and now Man City have thrown a "red herring" at United in the form of a "secret weapon"!

Jaggedone sent his CIA army (Cockroach Infiltration Army) over to City headquarters to find out exactly what their weapon is. Star CIA reporter, Slimy Wilcox-Cackalack sent the following report:

"Man City are preparing a double whammy secret weapon to confuse Sir Alex Ferguson. If they are drawing after sixty-five minutes Carlos Tevez and Balotelli will line up on the touch line ready to be introduced. Then Aquero and Da Silva will throw tantrums, stamp their feet and refuse to come off. Then Tevez and Balotelli will sulk, refuse to go on, stick their middle fingers up at Mancini and walk off. In the interim United players will be so bamboozled at the City antics, lose their concentration, concede the all important winning goal and defend as if their lives depended on it!

Tevez and Balotelli have been offered a 2 million quid bonus for their acting abilities and Da Silva and Aquero double after all Man City have enough dosh!"

Start reporter, Slimy Wilcox-Cackalack, sent this report over per text and just as he was about to scamper out of the building Balotelli with one of his huge feet, accidentally stamped on him, RIP!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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