Written by Jaggedone
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Tuesday, 18 October 2011

image for Man United take bunches of garlic and silver bullets to Romania!
Half-time entertainment in Romania; squadrons of vampire bats flying over the stadium!

Before Man United set off on their long trip to play a virtually unknown team in the dark depths of Romania, their kit man was spotted at a local Tesco's buying bunches of garlic and then he rushed to the weapon shop to buy silver bullets (?).

It seems that United have been warned about "Dark Forces" surrounding their opponents, FC Otelul Galati, whose Chairman is none other than Count Dracula and his board of directors are all blood sucking vampires. The game has been arranged extra late so they can all attend because an earlier kick-off could have presented a problem; they only appear after sunset.

United players have been warned before, during and after the game not to speak to strange, very pale women offering their services. Especially difficult for certain members of the squad to refuse (no names please, but you know who you are).

Also they were told to drape bunches of garlic around their necks while walking around town and also to eat plenty of the stuff. Sir Alex Ferguson and his training staff have been issued silver colts loaded with the silver bullets just in case they get jumped on by vampires during training sessions.

United desperately need a win tonight and the Romanians will try anything to spoil their plan. Count Dracula even offered to play centre forward, but their trainer advised him against it because he's over a 1000 years-old and can fly; that's against UEFA rules.

Since United have been in Romania Chicharito hasn't got off of his knees!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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