Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 20 October 2011

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Hulk Hogan as he appeared in a Valentine's Day commercial for Victoria's Secret which he only did for the money.

PLACENTIA, California - Former wrestling champion Hulk Hogan recently took a tour of the world's largest pickle factory The I Got Your Pickle Factory which is located in Placentia.

(Terry) Bollea, Hulk Hogan's real name was really enjoying all of the pickle relics located in the factory's mini-museum located on the factory property.

He was especially fond of the pickle jar that Dustin Hoffman's character Benjamin Braddock in the 1967 film The Graduate had taken a pickle from and hand fed it to the character portrayed by the sex-starved much older Anne Bancroft, alias the infamous Mrs. Robinson.

Gibraltar Yukon of The El Lay Informer sat down with Hogan at The Fiery Tongue of The Dragon Chinese Restaurant in Placentia and asked about his plans to return to the world of 1,2,3.

Hogan gave him a puzzled look.

"Ah...the wrestling world Hulkster."

"Oh, okay, you kinda threw me off there a bit little buddy."

Hogan went on to say that ever since the divorce, in which his effen ex-wife pretty much took him to the cleaners that he has been having a hell of a time trying to make ends meet.

He said that he has had to sell off some of his cherished wrestling memorabilia, artifacts, and keepsakes, such as 12 pairs of his yellow wrestling boots, 21 yellow wrestling shorts, 32 yellow headbands, and three yellow wrestling cups.

Hulk said that he even made a commercial for Victoria's Secret in which he dressed up as a Bourbon Street cross dresser because he needed the money bad.

Hogan pointed out that last week a wrestling promoter from San Francisco, Rittner "Moneybags" Maraschino, approached him about doing a charity wrestling match.

Maraschino said that it was to benefit the retired San Francisco trolley car operators who had lost their pensions due to the San Francisco Trolley Car Retired Operators Embezzlement Scandal of 2002.

At first the Hulkster confessed that he was a little leery saying that his body really couldn't take the physical abuse that it once did.

But when Mr. Maraschino informed him that he would be wrestling Sarah Palin, the former governor of Alaska and ex-future mother-in-law of Levi Johnston the Hulkster readily agreed.

Hulk was told that now that "Polar Bear Balls" Palin has announced that she will not be running in the GOP presidential primary she has lots and lots and lots of time on her hands.

And like she told Texas Governor Rick Perry in an email, hell she can't exactly go around shooting moose, caribou, elk, and reindeer every day.

Gibraltar Yukon says that he and The El Lay Informer will be providing more details on the upcoming Hulk Hogan Vs. Sarah Palin match as they become available.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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