Written by QprTilliDie87
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Tuesday, 11 October 2011

image for Chelsea F.C Looking for new home
Stamford Shithole

Chelsea Football club are looking into a move away from their Stadium Stamford Bridge and are looking to move into a new shithole in the next couple of years. This news has angered many fans who believe that a move to an even bigger shithole, than they are already in, will just mean there is more shit around.

Owner of Chelsea FC, Roman Abromovich stated, rather expectedly: 'We are looking into a move to a bigger shithole.'

He then added something to move the story along a bit (rolls eyes): 'Stamford Bridge has seen enough shit over the years, and the time has come for our crap to have another home.'

Chelsea have led the way in recent years, probably having the most expensive piece of shit in the world available to them. Fernando Torres (£50 million worth of shit) is the main example of this, having produced some outstanding crap performances since signing for the club. He joined up with the waste already at the club, and has just made them even shitter.

Chelsea FC's manager A.V.Boas has stated 'The proposed move is an excrement idea. Too move from one shithole, to a bigger shithole, will show the world how shit this club truly is.'

I, for one, couldn't possibly comment, but I'll stick yer blue flag up yer...

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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