Written by Jaggedone
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Tuesday, 11 October 2011

image for Euromillion winners buy Chelsea FC!
Back in British hands after "Euromillionaires" buy it back!

Dedicated Chelsea fans and new Euromillionaires, Dave and Angela Dawes, have decided to invest their winnings by buying Chelsea FC from Roman Abramovich.

They are so fanatic about the club and have only one desire; to make it British once again. They are "booting" out all foreigners including playing staff, tea ladies (mainly Polish), the present owner and his mistress's and Turkish run kebab stands inside the ground.

Pork pies, chips, mushy peas and a good old fashioned pint of best bitter will all be reintroduced on match days. The playing staff will be all British and ex Chelsea stars, John hollins, Butch Wilkins and Chopper Ron Harris will take over the management of the team.

Many older Chelsea fans will welcome the takeover, but many younger one's will regret not seeing a bunch of bought in millionaire foreigners representing their club and pretending to love it.

One devoted fan, 95 year-old Chelsea Pensioner Fred Bloggs, gave his opinion, here it is: "I don't give a shit who runs the club as long as he's English and not Russian!"

There you go, there is still home-grown devotion to football in the UK, but it would be a lot better if Brits could manage their own affairs better. So we should all be grateful to Dave and Angela for their "Euromillions"!!!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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