Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 6 October 2011

image for Rooney Sr 'held in suspicious batting scam' - reports
Suspicious batting patterns like this one

Liverpool - Investigators probing suspected cricket match fixing have arrested a number of people including someone with the same name as the famous Manchester United striker.

Wayne Rooney Senior was described as 'seventh of nine' in the group held today amid reports of 'weird batting patterns' by three members of the former Pakistan national cricket team.

The development comes amid a Southwark Crown Court hearing about 'deliberate attempts to bat a maiden over' by former captain Salman Butt, fast bowler Mohammad Asif and 'lots of others'.

Pals of Rooney Senior say he's innocent of all involvement and are pointing out that cricket's complex scoring structures and 'alien' LBW rules are a tad too sophisticated for typical Merseyside punters.

"Most have only just twigged to footie's 'Offside Rule', for heaven's sake," a drinking pal from the Gormless Ferret pub in Croxteth commented.

"Wanna see pix of naked WAGS' take on a 'leg before wicket' in the bedroom department?"

Thanks, maybe not today.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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