Written by Jaggedone
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Tuesday, 4 October 2011

image for Man United goalie gets his finger stuck in doughnut!
Spanish doughnuts muy mejor que inglesa, si o no?

Man United's new Spanish goalie survived an incident at a local supermarket in the noble area of Upper Manchester where all rich footy stars do their shopping. He got his finger stuck in a very sticky doughnut.

After panicking, because normally he's got butter fingers and many balls have slipped through his hands, he run out of the store hoping to find a drop of oil under a leaking limo, English one (no names) to ease the doughnut off.

Security guards thought he was nicking the doughnut and promptly arrested him.

David de Gea "no habla mucha inglesa" had quite a problem explaining the situation, but never the less he tried, here his statement heard by a passing cockroach wearing a City shirt who just happened to be a City fan:

"No, no Senór yo no nicky doughnut, it sticky on mi manos et doughnuts inglese muy malo, muy sticky comprendo, in Espana doughnuts muy mejor et no sticky, no problema si?"

The security guard, a staunch Liverpool fan let him go under the following condition; that David buys 45000 doughuts for Liverpool fans for next weeks game in Liverpool because they will buy doughnuts anyway to bombard him with and he can save the poor Liverpudlians a lot of money.

De Gea agreed and left with a Spanish Lo siento Senór, a quick Olé et hasta la vista in Liverpool!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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