Written by heidiburgle

Print this
Topics: QPR

Monday, 3 October 2011

Adel Taarabt has revealed exactly what happened to him when substituted at half time in QPR's 6-0 trouncing at Fulham.

"I said to the gaffer at half-time the system wasn't working. Let's go 4-4-2 - I said I'd gladly make way for Tommy Smith. So he substituted me and I had no complaints, it was best for the team as 4-5-1 was pissing shit.

"Then I realised I'd forgotten to set my VCR for Songs Of Praise. It was a special edition celebrating 50 years of the programme and I didn't want to miss it. I take my religion very seriously. So I asked if I could leave early, and Neil said that wasn't a problem. I couldn't hang around after the game like I usually do anyway for autographs, pictures etc, as I had tickets to see Storm Lee in concert at the O2.

"So, I summoned my pilot to pick me up early in my private jet, but I was told some prick had nicked it and flown it into a ferris wheel in south Wales.

"I couldn't get a taxi so I made my way to the nearest bus stop - I hadn't been on a bus since I was 13, when me and some mates used to go on Red Bus Rovers.

"When I reached the bus stop, I couldn't believe what I saw. There were some QPR fans there and I asked them why they weren't at the game. They said they left when it was 4-0 and I went into one. What price loyalty? I said I've never given less than 75% for QPR - the fans should do the same, support the club for 90 minutes.

"It all got a bit heated. Then one of the fans pulled down my shorts and took a picture of my arse. I see it's now on the internet, bastards.

"All I want to do is be a QPR legend, like Stan Bowles. I've met him a few times and he's given me some very good advice."

Make heidiburgle's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 4 multiplied by 2?

4 8 6 17

Go to top