Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 3 October 2011

image for Dallas Cowboys Owner Jerry Jones Convinces Brett Favre To Come Out Of Retirement And Join The Cowboys
Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader Lillybelle Cherrycutt (Front) says fans should not blame the cowboy loss on the cheerleaders.

DALLAS - The Dallas Cowboys took a commanding 24 point lead (27-3) against the Detroit Lions into the third quarter but when the game ended the Cowboys found themselves on the losing end 34-30.

Millions of Cowboys fans looked on in total disbelief and shock. Jerry Jones reportedly aged two full years in the fourth quarter alone, and even the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders wondered what the hell happened to America's team.

One cheerleader, Lillybelle Cherrycutt, 24, from San Antonio said that someone in the stands had yelled out that it was the cheerleaders fault and she wondered what the cheerleaders could have done differently in order for the team to have won.

She mentioned that the girls even did the highly erotic Grand Canyon Splits four times during the game instead of the usual two times.

After the game Cowboy quarterback Tony "Oops" Romo, who had two interceptions returned back for touchdowns, was asked by Sports Territory reporter Tango Brisket what in the world had happened to have his team collapse so pitifully.

Romo looked down at his shoes, shrugged his shoulders, and replied that his ribs were hurting like hell, his head felt like it was the size of Chaz Bono, and he had an ingrown hair in his right ear that was starting to effect his hearing.

Cowboys owner Jerry Jones spoke with Mr. Brisket and said that he had never seen one of his Cowboy teams just fall apart the way that today's team did. He said that he was seriously thinking about putting the whole friggin team on eBay.

Jones said that his wife, Mrs. Jones calmed him down by giving him a double shot of Seven & Seven. Jones did let Brisket know that before he left the stadium he had placed a call to Brett Favre and he asked him if he would consider coming out of retirement and becoming the Cowboys starting quarterback.

Jerry said that Favre got so exited that he spilled the bowl of Wheaties that he was eating. He told Jerry that he would find his football cup, pack his bag, and he would be taking the next plane down to Dallas.

SIDENOTE: Before Jones finished talking to Favre he did mention that the only thing he was going to ask of him was that he please not touch the cheerleaders. Jones said that Brett replied, "I hear ya pops, no problem."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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